Here's my take on the list (which, by the way, reflects a different set of aspirations than mine for a partner), and here's why:
- He's responsible - Does he remember to do things that a grown, adult person should be doing (paying bills, maintaining the home, etc.)? Are life's responsibilities distributed equally between the two of you? And if he doesn't remember, does he react well when you remind him?
- He's reliable - Contrary to the list, I don't believe you can run to a guy with all of your problems. Isn't that what friends, family, colleagues, and therapists are for? My take is....does he respond well to the problems that he's supposed to solve?
- He respects you - duh. This is a non-negotiable - it's not a sign that I should keep him! Pleeeeeeassse.
- He's genuinely kind - Wasn't it Chris Rock that talked about how when a couple gets together, there are 6 people in the room (the 2 of you....the 2 people you each want to be...and the 2 people you want each other to be). He should be sweet and kind. Not just a demeanor towards you; I think this should be a permanent behavior in the way that he treats everyone!
- He loves those around him - I totally agree that he should have a good relationship with family and friends; however, I think it's very important that as the girlfriend/partner/lover, we know when to give him his space. Time with friends and family is VERY important (and good for you too!). But knowing when enough hockey with the boys is enough...well, it keeps hockey-watching charming.
- He's loved by those closest to you - It's nice if my friends and family dig him too. But loved? That might be a stretch.
- He's honest - Honest, yes! Blunt, hell naw! If my Polar Bear (a very kind, lovely man who courts me well!) were blunt....well, neither he nor I would be very romantic with each other.
- He's not emotionally stunted - This isn't a sign you should keep him. It's a requirement of any healthy relationship!
- He has values similar to yours - True......this can keep you both growing.
- He makes time for you - He better! Even if he DOES live 4 hours away. (wink, wink, Polar B!)